On the Road

Today began the 20 hour voyage across America. I dozed for most of the day, as typically happens to me when I'm in a moving vehicle (other than just the planet). My mum and I have settled in at some hotel a few miles past Cleveland. After lengthy negotiations with the hotel manager, who wasn't exactly sure of the price (people typically just throw their credit cards at him), I have located the business ceenter where I am happily emailing. Also blogging. Obvy. The day has been a good one, listening to "On the Road" on books on tape.

I'm enjoying this computer. There are shortcuts on the desktop to a gameboy emulator, a file about incentives called folly.pdf, a word document, some other random stuff.

Opening the My Documents folder, I see that there are all sorts of hilariously titled documents... such as "DUE TO THE CITY OF STREETSBORO FLUSHING THE WATER LINES THE WATER IN THE GUEST ROOMS IS SLIGHTLY DISCOLORED" and "DO NOT OPENNNNNNN". Additionally, there is a petition by the National Organization for the Reform of Marijuana Laws, and of course, "WE HAVE NOTICED YOUR TRUCK"

Alright, it's time to sleep. I'm going to post this and then open "DO NOT OPENNNNNN"

Important

I drove two and from Madison recently. While driving back, I had a thought which I've had many times before. Here it goes: I really, really would not want to die by hitting a deer while driving in a car. It just seems like the stupidest fucking way to die. And another thing is, if I actually did die that way, I would want the comfort of everyone knowing how pissed off I would be about it. Or I at least would be super pissed off if my last thought is that while I'm being impaled on antlers, carreening into some fucking tree in the middle of a cornfield, I realized that no one would ever know how pissed off I would be in my last moments, or even how much more pissed off I would be that no one knew how much extra pissed off... it would thus build on itself.

Hopefully this isn't too depressing. But, I just thought you should know. If I die by hitting a deer while driving in some kind of motor vehicle, I would be pissed about it. But I suppose we could laugh it off.

Live Free or Die Hard

I'm spending the night watching Live Free or Die Hard. I've decided to blog my reactions to the movie as I watch it.

• Unobtrusive way of killing computer hackers: upload a virus that creates hardware issues, causing nerds to hit ctrl+alt+delete. This triggers some planted, helpfully labeled C4 to explode.
• Plan B: shoot up the entire apartment with illegal, high power weaponry.
• Are the villains French? Only appropriate for a movie full of America spirit.
  
• Less obstrusive ways of killing someone: fake mugging, hunting accident, radon poisoning, regular poisoning, run someone down with car, hit over head with blunt object.
  
• Awesome: Bruce Willis. Creative fire extinguisher trick reminds me of halflife 2.
• Oh shit! Is this bad guy the dude from Wanted? Awesome. I hope he can bend bullets.
• More unobstrusive ways of killing: shoot with tiny gun, push out of building, fake suicide, push heavy object on top of them, kidnap and then kill them.
• Okay, this bad guy, we shall call him Wanted dude, is just awesome. He is awesome. Awesome.
• Hacker shit in a semi. This bodes well.
• Ah, excellent use of CCR's classic Vietnam protest Fortunate Son as a patriotic song. Great.
• Ah! The drivers can only follow the directions of the lights! We are sheep!
• My other choice of a movie was Hackers. I'm debating which would have been more realistic.
• Oh fuck you terrorists. You do NOT mess with 4th of July weekend.
• "Video package is ready for upload"
• President montage was pretty good.
• This software has a way better interface than what I'm guessing the government has.
• Alright I need to pause this for
  
• Helicopter stuff: That was awesome.
  

Auxillary Thoughts

Funny name of the day: Dick Polman

As an editorial said in today's Star Tribune, Garrison Keillor should do the voice-over work at the Minneapolis airport.

I also saw Wanted, which had a high degree of awesome. Another nice bad sci-fi movie with a cool world and a cool idea. I didn't think Wanted failed too horrifically in execution, however. The film had a coherent feel to it, some great action sequences, and sort of explained some stuff in a satisfactory manner. Well... it had some great action sequences. I also thought the main character did a pretty good job in the nerd-turned-super-assassin role.

Movays

There are few things to do in Rochester. Fortunately, unlike New Haven, you are able to see movies, in a theater no less.

Last night I saw 500 Days of Summer. I thought it was a pretty good film... in the words of the advertisements, a story about love, but not a love story. It was filled with some fun quirky things that kept it engaging and interesting, although I really grew to hate one of the characters, Summer played by Zooey Deschanel. I think I dislike Zooey Deschanel in general, I can't decide. Right, but worth seeing. There's some stuff that might be self-referential, where the main character complains that actual love is completely ruined by the portrayel of love in books and song and... movies. Right. Reminded me of the first essay in Sex, Drugs, and Coco Puffs, where Klosterman claims that John Cusak destroyed love in the real world.

Tonight I saw District 9. Thought it was pretty damn awesome. Some great effects, a video game feel at certain parts, but also with some interesting ethical questions. The "meaning" of the film isn't burried very deep, obviously, but it fortunately doesn't completely bash you over the head with ideas like "RACISM IS BAD!" Hadn't really seen many previews, so I went in expecting something very different from what I got. I think that heightens my appreciation of a movie, I like being surprised.

Finally, a confession. I really like frogs and toads. My first and only pet was a toad. Thus, when I'm driving through my neighborhood at night and I see a toad with a deathwish, hopping madly toward my tires, I swerve wildly, park my car, take him off the road and give him a stern talking to about the finer points of automotive safety. All the toads I save are males.

Recipe Corner!

I'd like to share with you what I cooked for lunch. It's called the BT. Or the B, if you go for the minimalist form.

What you will need:

• 4 strips of bacon
• Frying pan
• Stove
• 2 pieces of bread (optional)
• Toaster (optional)
• Mayonnaise
• Tomato (optional)

Put the frying pan on the stove. Set the heat to like medium. Or maybe low. Put the bacon on the pan. Cook the bacon. At this point, you could be done. Or you could toast two pieces of bread, chop up some tomatoes, slather some mayo on your toast, combine, and eat. It was pretty good.

Super swift

• I was driving home from a friends house, and there was a young raccoon with a terrible limp crossing the road.
• I am about to go view the meteor shower hopefully.
• I went up to the cities today for a Yale thinger. Met some Yalies, young and old, a good time.
• The current totally rocks my socks.
• Listened to some Zee Avi on the current. An interesting story, super chill music, her voice reminded me of a Malayasian Regina Spektor. http://www.zeeavi.com/
• Absolutely no offense to the girl who said this, but after meeting some ppl today at the Yale thing, there was the comment "That's a real pretty drive." This is something I've heard my parents say SO many times. Just reminded me about getting older, and getting excited about things like pretty drives.
• Okay seriously time for meteor showers.
• Gabe Friedman. Friend, poet, lover?
• I'm getting up in about 4 and a half hours to go fishing.